a crisis of identity.

I haven’t had anything profound or even merely interesting to say so I’ve been quiet. Conserving words. A week or two will mark the end of Q1 and it has brought me to a place of peace inside of (cause it’s still my reality) the identity crisis I have been fighting against the past year.

We don’t make our way out of a crisis by bucking at it (this pandemic being the prime example). We seek refuge, we adjust, we innovate, we change and we make it as palatable as possible until we reach the other side. So that’s what I’ve been up to. Primarily seeking refuge in Jesus.

SO I’m a bit of a nerd and I’m a big fan of etymology, the study of word origins and their history. As I’ve made my way through the book of Psalm this quarter, the word REFUGE has jumped at me every time it has come up. So, of course I had to do some digging. Refuge is translated from the Hebrew word macheh which is a place of refuge, shelter, trust... You can’t take refuge in something you do not fully trust. Not trusting your own umbrella and putting your own hand above it is insane. Why hold the umbrella? It’s now pretense.

How have you been covering your umbrella? I have been claiming to trust, find peace and refuge in the God of the universe while also living an undisciplined, self-absorbent life being overly concerned about who I am, what I should be doing, what I’m not doing and how terribly I’ve stunted myself when my Father already promised a life fulfilled...

You know the crazy thing about putting your own arm on top of your umbrella. Aside from that one piece of you the rest of you stays dry. And not because anything changed, or you did anything special. The umbrella stayed the same. Working for you as intended.

Anywho...that’s all. I did not plan on typing all this... Updates of note: I got a new phone for the first time in ages. I’m teaching a dance class Friday (like to humans with technique not kiddies), also for the first time in ages. And I started therapy this week. So that’s cool. kk. love you. byeee.🤍